Even though I'm not working full days at the warehouse right now, Friday still can't get here fast enough. There is one downside to Fridays though. No play plans for the weekend.
Tonight is a play date. I love play dates. A few hours of kinky and sexual indulgence that keeps me semi-balanced through the week. This playmate is into rough play, very rough. I love the struggle with him, the battle of wills, the physical altercations, and the final fuck. Good stuff for phone sex too..just sayin’.
The worst part of any good play date is the drop when they are gone. My drops tend to hit pretty quickly. I have learned to identify them. Know about the timeframe when they start. I’m usually prepared. Thankfully, my drops are short lived if I know when I’ll get my next date or “fix”.
Bottoming is fairly new to me. Not because I am not submissive, but mostly because it has taken me some time to find those elements of attraction, trust, and acceptance that all combine in a delicate symphony and allow me to slowly let go. I have desires to be more submissive, but as always, my issue has been control. It manifests itself in a brat form, but the truth being, I’m testing. I have to know they are in tune with who I am and what I want.
Somewhere, I think there is a Top or Dom book that only the males have access to..or maybe it’s just years of practice. I only say males because I haven’t seen this book and I know I can’t do what they are doing…what is that you ask? It’s that thing where they look at you and know that you’re hiding a desired bottom side of you under an exterior of sarcasm, denial, and Topping.
There are a couple of Tops in my life right now that I am excited to share my submissive side with. They both have different affects and create different desires in the way I approach my play with them. This is good, creates variety, and keeps me from obsessing. Unfortunately, I’m limited to one date per week with the one who leaves for weekends, and the other is on an undefined period of lockdown (long story that even I don’t fully understand).
Knife play is fun with the date for tonight. He enjoys cutting off articles of clothing. He goes about it slowly, methodically….it’s hot. Goodwill and Value Village are shopping locations of choice. I’ve warned that we will not be cutting off my French bras and expensive panties. That’s a hard limit. “RED” if you will. I’ve never been much of a clothes person. I don’t enjoy shopping.
The thought of having to hit the thrift store again this afternoon before our date is not something I look forward to. Just the shopping part is what I am pouting about. The part about picking out something fun for him to cut is exhilarating…ahhh, but I procrastinated...as usual, although in my defense, he didn’t “tell” me it was going to be a “rip her clothes off” kinda date until late last night. Poor excuse? Yea, probably, but it’s the best one I got for now.
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