25 Years Ago Today

For some, the assassination of JFK will be vivid in their minds.  They were there watching when the shots were fired.  They watched as their beloved President died before their eyes (I know, speculation about when he actually died, but lets face it, half you brains on lying on the backseat of a car, the outcome isn't going to be in your favor).

For me, there are two specific dates and memories that bring on a weird feeling of sorrow and tragedy.  I am not alone I know.  911 is one of those dates.  I stood there watching as others did as the Towers were hit, and then that horrible feeling as they began to crash to the ground.  You could almost hear the screams from thousands of miles away.  I am weird in that I also felt them.

The other date, that will always stick with me forever, is January 28th.  The day the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded with 7 men and women on board.

Why do I remember it so vividly?  I was working as the Inventory Supervisor for Tom Peterson's (free is a very good price).  The company had just purchased the Standard TV on Foster.  We were moving in that day, taking inventory.

We all got to stop work long enough to watch the launch.  The ladies from the office, some of the sales people, and warehouse guys, we all stood in front of 200+ televisions and chatted idly as the shuttle prepared.

We became silent as we watched, the engines roar, the rockets blast, and then liftoff, smiled and made a few jokes about monkeys?

And then, before our eyes, and all around us on every screen in the showroom, it happened....

Some where asking, what happened?  Some were saying it was just the rockets dropping away from the shuttle. But I knew immediately.  I knew this wasn't normal.  I knew the shuttle did not continue on its way.  I knew at that moment, what had happened.  I walked away and went back to work.  I didn't need to keep seeing it over and over on the screens.  It as imbedded in my head, in my memory.

And today,  I am reminded again.

The Hotel - Part 3 A Taste Of Things To Come

“Close your eyes, do not open them” his deep voice causes chills through my body.  I close my eyes shut and my senses heighten.

I feel his hands on me now.  Touching my body.  I hear rustling; he is moving me in place.  His lips are on my nipples as I stand unstable and trembling.   His teeth begin to nibble, the soft nibbles only lasting moments before the harder bites follow.  I am wincing in pain, but deliciously turned on by the sensation.

Opening my eyes, I can see his mouth surrounding my breast and his eyes meet mine.

“I told you to leave them closed” he growls through a full mouth of flesh, and he grabs hard at the other breast.

I am gasping for air, trying to remember to stand still, not fight him off, and still deal with the pain.  “I’m sorry Sir” is all I can manage.   He releases his grip and continues to suck on the already sore nipple.

Pain.  Delicious pain.  My breasts are already sore and tender from time spent together this week.  They feel heavy and swollen as I cup one from underneath and lift it higher for him.

He is standing now, and I am being turned.

“Walk, and keep your eyes closed” he is telling me.  I smile and trust his lead.

The curtain had been partially opened when I walked in.  I can now feel the coldness that is penetrating the large plate glass window as I get closer.   I know what is about to happen and a sudden flight response takes over.  I step back.  Wrong choice.

His large hands are forceful as he is pushing my body, uncovered up against the window.  I know I am resisting but I can’t stop.

“Open your eyes” he almost whispers.

I am watching the cars pass on one way streets below.  The brightly lit Twin Towers of the Convention Center loom in the black sky.  My eyes are darting to the people now walking up the street and I am wondering if they are looking up, and what they can see.  I am feeling panic.  I am feeling humiliated.  I am feeling aroused.  I am being pulled away.

“Lie down” he instructs as he points to a bench just to our right.  The bench is soft.  He places a blindfold over my eyes, and I lie back.

I feel the soft bandanas he keeps in his bag as they are gently tied to my wrists.  Each wrist is being secured to the bench, it feels snug, it feels wonderfully snug.  The rope is now around one of my legs, still in boots, and my knee is being lifted and pulled towards my chin and tied off.  I feel the other leg begin tied, lifted, and secured as well.  I am exposed.

Rope is on my breasts now.  The hemp feels soft, yet strong.  I am getting a soft whiff of its fragrance.  This is something I’ve really not noticed before.  It is almost an oil smell, but not chemical but earthy.  I am staring to float now.  I cannot feel the tenderness that was in my breasts but just a few minutes ago.  I feel sensations.  I hear his voice.  I am here, but not completely.

“One” he counts as a small vibrating unit is slid inside of me.  “Two” and I can feel another.  They are creating a consistent sensation, a pressure.  He leaves me to deal with it in my own way.

I am drifting in and out.  He is still tying.  He is taking his time.  He told me he would.  I love this feeling of vulnerable and trust.  My mind is wandering as I feel the sensations and allow myself this indulgence.

I can feel his hands on me.  He is tugging on the ropes.  I resurface to realize his hands are on my legs, held up in the air by rope.  The vibrating eggs are still working internally.  He is spreading me farther apart.  He is against me.  I feel his bare skin.  I feel his hands suddenly on my nipples.

“They are purple” he says to me.  “Do you want to see them?”

I am not sure if I have answered him.  It doesn’t matter.  I feel him now and gasp as he buries himself  deep inside of me without warning.  He is rough and aggressive.  He is not making love to me.  He is using me.   This is what I had wanted.  This is what I had asked for.  I can hear in his words that he is in the frame of mind that tells me I am the slut he requested.  The hole he expected.  He is using me as I should be used.

The assault continues, the eggs vibrating in the same hole he has been using for a period of time now.  My breasts feel only the erotic sensation of being touched.  The sensation feed lubricant and is seeming to excite him more.

His vocalization as he unloads himself fills the room.  I do not hear the man I submit to.  I do not hear the man who cares for and adores me.  I hear someone else, something else.  I hear an animal rage, a roar of sorts, and I feel the continuous forceful thrusts until all is expelled.

Hours have passed.  I am not sure how long I have been tied.  He slowly begins to bring me back to him.  Removing the eggs, one at a time.  My breasts, are being unbound and blood rushing back into the veins feels like a shock.  My legs are slowly being lowered, one at a time.  Each one gently let down to the ground.  My wrists, once bound tightly to the sides of the bench, are now on my stomach, and he is removing the bandana bindings.

My blindfold is still in place.  I am helped to sit up and stand, then led slowly to the bed where I am told to crawl up and lie down.  I crawl slowly, feeling for the pillows and lie down on the cold sheet.

I can feel the pressure on the mattress as he climbs onto the bed and is lying next to me.  I smile as his arms wrap around me and gentle kisses begin to access my neck and face.  He snuggles me closer, tighter in his arms.  He breaths me in and we recharge as our energies silently exchange.

“Are you happy?” he asks me.

“Yes, I am very happy” is my reply.

The Hotel - Part 2 The Way It Happened

“Crawl to me” he growls from across the room.

I am now on my hands and knees and I have never crawled to anyone nor been requested.  I am feeling oddly seductive.  A dichotomy of emotions are now welling up in my submissive heart and my dominant brain.  “What does he expect?” I am thinking.  But I already knew the answer.  He only expected one thing from me.  Trust. 

I lean forward, putting pressure onto my palms.  I glance down at my fingers spread evenly on the short carpet and admire the shine of the purple on my nails.  Looking up slowly, I let my deep brown eyes meet with his.  He is smiling, but his eyes are dark.

He has a caring but hard energy about him tonight.  The texts in the past 12 hours have been short, stern, and concise.  They have excited me and I have anticipated and wondered how this evening would play out.  I admit to myself I am enjoying each surprising twist.

The room feels much larger from the floor level.  It seems to take forever to make the journey on my hands and knees.  I lift my toes with each advance so as not to drag against the carpet and snag the black thigh high stockings I was instructed to wear.  I pass the bed on my right, the comforter and blankets neatly folded back, the dark mahogany wood entertainment center on my left, and finally arrive at his feet as he sits in the chair next to the window.

He likes me at his feet.  He enjoys the view as I sit and look up at him, adoring and waiting for his instruction.  At this moment in time, I have let go of what I feel others might think of me being in this physical and mental situation.  I only want to do what makes him happy.  How odd a feeling this is for me.  This overwhelming desire to be an unrestrained captive at this mans feet.  All the protective walls of tough and Top are shed.  I take guilty pleasure in knowing he is probably mentally restraining himself from physically having me now.

“You have made me very happy” he whispers and I see it in his eyes and his smile.  Seconds later, a stronger deeper voice follows with “You know what to do”…

My mouth is soft.  I use my lips to tighten and release the shaft, my tongue flicking in those sensitive spots that men have.  I use my throat muscles to cluck against the head.  An action he has instructed me to practice before this evening.  I can feel more growth with each contraction.  My mouth and throat are full now.  Air does not pass and I relax my mind so that I don’t panic.  I trust him.  I trust that he is caring as well as forceful.  I trust he will not let harm come to me.  And I continue to give him pleasure as he moans and growls my name.

His hands are in my hair now.  The grasp is tight against my scalp.  I close my eyes and moan.  I love the rough and primal feeling as he pushes me into him.  He knows I enjoy the force.  His pleasure is heightened, as I do not resist.  He is loves that I give myself to him fully.  My face is buried in his pelvis, and when I finally can take no more, I am pulled away, gasping and choking, drool and mucus stringing from my mouth.  He tells me to stay where I am, and he stands and walks away.

From past conversations, I know that I am no longer to try and see what is happening behind me.  I am not to sneak peaks as he prepares his ropes and toys.  Tonight, I focus on what he expects from me.  I obey his command and stay where I am.  The excitement continues to build inside of me and I shift a bit to move my wet panties against my clit, admittedly stealing a bit of pleasure without permission….

To be continued…

The Hotel - Part 1 The Fantasy

I can imagine the feeling as I begin the drive downtown.  The excitement as I take the exit leading me from the freeway a few short blocks to the hotel.  The wetness that began when he told me of his plans for this date, would now be uncontrollable as I enter the parking structure and make my way to the front desk. 

“I was told a room key would be waiting for me”,  I will explain to the young clerk at the desk.  He will let his fingers slightly touch mine as he places the keycard in my hand and, flirtatiously smiles like he knows, and points to the elevators leading to the 12^th floor.  “Have a wonderful evening” he will call as I turn and walk away.  I will smile knowing he is watching my ass. 

The elevator doors will open onto the 12^th floor and the smell of carpet freshener and freshly washed linen will hit my nostrils.  I will step onto the deep red and gold floor covering and glance at the wall plaque that points toward the pod of room numbers.  I will walk confidently to the room, stop, and turn.  1207 is the sign on the door.  I double check my last text message from him.  Yep, they match, and I will slide the keycard into the electronic box, watch the green light flash, and listen for the lock to click open. 

The room will be dark as I close the door behind me and flip the inside deadbolt as I was previously instructed to do.  I will remove my jacket and let it fall to the floor as my eyes adjust to the darkness.  I will be wearing only the garments he outlined in his instructions.

Stepping down the narrow hallway and into the dimness of the suite, I will see his sillouette against the closed curtains.  He will be sitting back in a chair.  Watching me.  I will stand and wait patiently until he speaks “what is expected of you?”. 

I will approach and immediately drop to my knees in front of him.  In the darkness, my hands will begin to unbuckle his belt, moving quickly to work through the buttons on his pants, and reaching in, I will pull out the firm flesh and begin....

Safer Sex Sunday

Oh it felt good to sleep in this morning.  My ass is killing me after going up and down those 2 flights of stairs yesterday.  Moving the club back into it's normal look after the NYE party.  But it's a good ass pain LOL.  I need to keep that up.  I like my ass.  I get compliments on it all the time.  It's large, yes, but nicely shaped, round, and lifted, not saggy (yet).  I try to pay attention to how I walk so that my glutes do their job.  It all pays off when I wear my chaps :)

We went to a class on "safer sex" today.  I was astonished at how much I learned and how enjoyable the person giving us the information was.  She is a trained microbiologist/rocket scientist/smart person.  She was an amazingly intelligent woman who had warmth and caring and humor about things that could be so sterile and boring.  I loved the short time we got to spend with her.

I learned alot of things, but a few really stuck in my mind.  Like how to make a dental dam out of a condom or a glove.  Like how HPV can transmit from one to another and how much more careful I should be.  Like how vanilla flavored condoms taste better than strawberry flavored.

Mostly, I learned how uniformed I really am and I will be striving to learn more now.

So tonight, I leave you with this picture of the free samples we were offered...

And remember, phone sex doesn't require a condom.  http://www.bcbchaps.com/

Chaps~

P.S. In my defense, I started writing this post when it was still 1/2/11...

1/1/11

It's freaking cold outside.  I think about a friend I recently met who promised me he had a warm tent to sleep in.  I trusted that he wasn't lying to me, but still, there is a part of me that wants to go out and find him, bring him into shelter and warmth.  But I also know that is not something he would want.  I have to accept that he knows what he wants and what is best for him.  So I sit here and feel a bit of guilt at where I am at.

I spent New Years Eve with people I love.  My husband who had a date with a close friend.  My Dom who made arrangements that allowed him time to spend a special few hours with me.  Other close friends from the club.  We stood together in the hallway next to the DJ booth as the clock struck 12.  At that moment, we exchanged kisses, yelled "switch", and exchanged kisses with the next person, yelled "switch" and repeated the process.  It was fun and a moment to remember.

The day was spent with many of these same friends.  Cleaning up the club, getting it ready for the party tonight.  We won't be there.  Most of us won't.  We are too tired.  But have still spent the day together, working towards a cause we believe in.  We all know and take pride in the fact that we are a main part of why this club remains in our lives.

And so the day ends.  A fireplace.  A warm blanket.  I have the phone line open for a sexy phone sex chat.

I leave you with this sexy http://www.bcbchaps.com/ photo and wish you the start of a Happy New Year!

Chaps~