Qwest: How can I help you
Me: I need to set service for my apartment.
silence
Qwest: Is this for an existing line or a new account
Me: New account please
silence
Qwest: Can I have your name please
Me: (Insert My Legal Name Here) but it will be under (Insert husbands Legal Name and My Legal Name Here).
Qwest: ok (Legal Name), can you please give me your account number
Me: umm, huh? It’s a new account, I don’t have an account number
Long Silence
Qwest: ok (Legal Name), what is it I can help you with.
Me: I need to set up service for my apartment (didn’t we cover this one?)
Silence
Qwest: ok (Legal Name), I can help with that. What kind of service did you need.
Me: phone service, the cheapest possible. No call waiting, no forwarding, just a basic in and out calls, no long distance.
Silence
Qwest: ok (LN), I can help with that. Did you want internet service as well?
Me: no thank you, just phone.
Silence
Qwest: ok (LN), did you want cable or any other services?
Me: no thank you, just phone.
Qwest: ok (LN), yes, ok, I can take care of this for you
Me: (rolling eyes at the phone and noting my cell minutes being utilized)
Silence
Silence
Qwest: ok (LN), can I have the address please
Me: (address), (apt U###), Portland, 97###
Qwest: ok (LN), what state
Me: Oregon
Qwest: Oregon?
Me: Yes, Oregon (has she not heard of Oregon before?)
Silence
Qwest: ok (LN), your in building A?
Me: no, Building U
Qwest: building U?
Me: yes, U, like as in Underdog, U! (growing impatient now)
Qwest: what city?
Me: Portland?
Qwest: what city?
Me: Portland?
Qwest: ok (LN), I can help with that.
Silence
Qwest: can you please hold while I get a supervisor
Me: Yes (thankful someone who knows what they are doing is coming to help…or so I think)
Really long silence
Qwest: ok (LN), I’m getting a supervisor can you continue to hold
Me: yes
Really long silence
Qwest: ok (LN), I’m almost done setting up your account, if you can hold just a little longer.
Me: thank you.
LONG SILENCE
Qwest: ok (LN), what is your social security number?
Me: ###-##-####
Qwest: ok (LN), thank you
Me: silent
AND yet, more Silence
Qwest: ok (LN), the social security number you gave me was your husbands number not yours.
Me: what? The number ###-##-#### is my number.
Silence
Qwest: ok (LN), but the social is showing in our records that it is his number
Me: well then your records are wrong…I’m 46, I think I know my own social security number.
Silence
Qwest: ok (LN), it may be your social security number but the old account was under your husbands name but he used your social security number
Me: my husband doesn’t know his own social security number let alone mine. Besides I’M the one who set up the account. (taking a deep breath and regaining composure). Ok, it doesn’t matter, what do I need to do to get service.
Silence
Qwest: ok (LN), there is a past due of $11.06 on the account.
Me: ok, thought we took care of that when I closed the account, but ok.
Qwest: we cannot start your new service until the past due is paid.
Me: ok, I need to get back to work now so I’ll take care of that this afternoon. Thank you for you help. Bye.
Ok – THIS WAS TOO FUCKING PAINFUL. – 15minutes, 20 seconds!
And what was with all the silent moments?
I’m hoping that when I call back this afternoon I will be lucky enough to get someone who knows what the Fuck they are doing!
What I learned about today – Don’t call Qwest without at least one cup of coffee in your system and about 20 cell spare cell phone minutes.
But hey, it's all worth it to make sure that you get the very best phone sex available >:)
Hello, Steph from Qwest here,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear about the frustrating sittuation with this phone call and the amount of time you spent trying to set up basic service. I would be happy to help you establish the service. Please email me at talktous@qwest.com with:
1) your name
2) your address
3) your contact number
thank you
Stephanie Lake
Manager, Talk To Qwest Team
"At Qwest your account information is confidential and protected by law, so I need your permission to access the account.”